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Confessions of this wild tigress: I have not been the best version of myself the last couple of years.

Hi there all. I think you are all thinking I'm about to talk about my weight gain and my physical characteristics. No, that is not what I am talking about. I do know that due to me being on Metformin for two years, I had put on 30 pounds. The good news, the past four weeks I have been on an Intermittent Fasting/Keto diet so that when I went to the doctor this past Thursday, October 24th, my blood/urine work would be much better and show a healthier person and not one with pre-Diabetes.  I have lost 20 pounds in the past 30 days.

Doctor was very happy and allowed me to go off Metformin to try to lost the last 45 pounds by myself. He wants to see me in April 2020 for more labs to make sure I'm not backsliding and I'm continuing on my weightloss journey. I also came back clean on all STD's including HIV, Syphillis, Herpes, Chlamydia and Gonorrhea. Those of you wonder how I can continue to keep that clean as I have never had an STD's and it's because I am careful. I use covers for Intercourse and wash/gargle my mouth meticulously after each appointments. I do pick mature men mostly above age 40 so it definitely isn't the "high risk" grouping of gentlemen. 

No, my physical self isn't what drove me to write this article. It's the me on the inside. The me on the inside has been "rotten" to the core versus helpful, loving and being a good friend/mentor. I have been jealous of other providers successes including my duo partners and have been more self-serving. I guess it is routed in how the business has gone downhill since about a year and a half ago. To all that I have felt that about or in any way mistreated, I wholeheartedly apologize. It's a competitive business and some of you think, well, she is human, and those kinds of feelings are common. Yes, but I should always overcome those thoughts with trying to help the others, be a great mentor and just be kind because that is much better than the opposite, being attractive on the outside but "ugly to the bone."

I am working on my self-esteem because I have always felt bad about myself and not really believing that I am beautiful. It's a hard business for those with low self-esteems as most gentlemen want traditional beauty and a maximum of size 10. 

For those women out there that I have hurt with my jealousy, I am truly sorry. In addition to my body and self-esteem, I am going to work on me on the inside to be a better person, a better friend and a better mentor to those that need it in the business. I will lead with kindness. 

Hugs and kisses,