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Ask Anita - Do you have any hobby advice for the newbies or “fence fallers"?

Hi all, I have had my share of newbies tell me that they have fallen on their face on the hobby quite a bit. So many step in “mud” when they first start asking questions of escort providers. I have written about hobby etiquette before but lately with the number of “ugh” messages I get from some other escort providers, the time has come to post again about it.

  1. Research escort provider companions fully before even communicating with them via text, email or telephone. If they have a website, read it in full. If there are reviews available either on their own website (like me!) or on other websites such as ECCIEErotic Monkey, Escort Babylon, The USA Sex Guide and/or Adult Look, and read all that you can about them. Only once that you have read all that you can about them, then contact the escort provider and ask (if it isn’t clear from their website) what is their protocol for screening/verification. I had a gentleman give me a hard time last week when I led him to my website so he could read it (he had only seen the Eros Ad). He said “I don’t want to be a member of your fan club. I want a date.” I told him he forfeited the opportunity to meet me then. I expect gentlemen that meet me to research thoroughly and have safe research practices. 
  2. Complete the screening/verification with the escort provider. Yes, I know there are eye rolls out there but if there is no protocol for screening/verification, what keeps those escort providers from being arrested with your information in their telephone? Also, if they simply give you their address, could it be a trap? Are their law enforcement lying in wait to nab you? Could they have a pimp behind the door lying in wait to rob you?
  3. If you are reluctant to complete a screening form on a third party website, ask the escort provider if other methods of screening are allowed such as over the telephone, texting and/or email (I allow all of those)?
  4. Please read the donations/compensation page in full prior to completing the screening. I had a gentlemen complete the screening/appointment request and found out after he read it that he couldn't afford my $200 Light BDSM/Strapon hour. 
  5. An escort provider's donations are not negotiable. Do not LOWBALL them. Every escort provider has a reason for charging the donations that she does.
  6. Do not send explicit texts or emails to an escort companion. First off, once those words are typed and sent, even if deleted, yes, those explicit texts and emails are not really gone. They can be found again. You must remember that this is a business (not a love affair) so discretion on BOTH sides is required. Do you remember Tiger Woods' explicit text messages that were uncovered? I am sure he does also!
  7. Resist the urge to text or email the escort provider too much. One introductory email or text with the screening information would do and then ask to set an appointment once the escort provider has approved (screening completed) meeting the gentlemen. If you have done the appropriate research of the escort provider (as described in #1), you won’t need to ask for additional information.
  8. Do NOT ask for naked/nude pictures or any additional pictures of the escort provider. That is taboo as most escort providers have enough pictures out there of themselves in their advertisements and on their websites so that you can tell what their body type is.
  9. Be sure to check for a gift list on the escort provider’s website before going to the first appointment and pick something from her list to bring her. There isn’t an escort provider out there that doesn’t like to be spoiled just a little. If they don’t have a wish list, flowers are usually the best option. A gentleman that asks before the date "Do you want me to bring anything?" does not understand that we women love surprises. 
  10. The usual protocol for any date with an escort provider is to be freshly showered with minty fresh breath. If you cannot do that, please ask the escort provider if you can use her bathroom/shower to freshen up. I have a number of gentlemen that know that I do rimming but don’t offer to go “clean up” after coming from work. I have had to send many to the bathroom after they have awkwardly ask if I will rim them. I have a great nose and at that point, I will point out that they have to freshen up or I will not be doing any dining at the “O”.
  11. For those smokers, don’t smoke a pack before you meet your “date”. Brush your teeth and pop some mints within an hour of the appointment.
  12. Be on time for your date but not too early. Arriving five minutes early may be okay but any earlier and I always make my gentlemen wait just a little. I had a gentleman leave after I wouldn’t let him come in fifteen minutes early. A reminder, we don’t owe anyone an early arrival. Pick the appointment start time that works best for you. Don’t step over the line on an escort providers free time when she is getting ready for your date. If we want you to be freshly showered with minty fresh breath, I would think you would want that of us too.
  13. If going to be late or not going to be able to make your date, please let the escort provider know as soon as possible (I prefer a 2 to 3 hour notice, but each escort provider may have their own “late” or “cancellation policy"). For late cancellations, you can soften the blow by offering a $30 or $50 PayPal or Venmo payment or a $30 or $50 Amazon Gift Card. Please remember to respect your escort provider’s time.
  14. Clients and potential clients that step over the line continually are eventually blocked from making further appointments with the escort provider.
  15. How about providing a surprise for the escort provider in that first appointment such as giving her a massage. It is very erotic and can get her feeling just as amorous as you!
  16. If you are meeting a true professional escort companion, no need to worry about bringing condoms/lubes as we usually have all of that. Some of those former "BackPage" girls that live in dingy areas and charge the $60 quickies, are not necessarily "professionals" so yes, in those situations bringing a couple of condoms is likely a good idea. 
  17. If visiting the area on business, why not ask the escort provider to join you for dinner in addition to “dessert?” I call my package “Dinner and Dessert” or roughly 3 hours of fun.
  18. Always remember to be respectful of the escort provider's limits. Always make time at the beginning of the appointment to discuss those in person with the escort provider. 

Hopefully, the above points will help you hit a home run in having a wonderful first date with that particular escort provider companion you have had your mind on seeing. 

Hugs and voraciously hungry kisses,