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Aug
21
2019
Ask Anita - Are most clients that visit you perfect gentlemen? What are the characteristics of a perfect gentlemen?

Well, if you notice, in this blog I refer to my regular clientele as gentlemen. I am very lucky as I have many regulars of the gentlemen in the category of age 50's and up (through age 84). Many in that age category are from the old school that shows respect. I am sorry as I don't mean to generalize but many of the millenials are in the category that believe they don't have to work as hard and are owed more. They have the "serve me" attitude and I hate to say it but they are just about the "COCK". They love quickies and don't think romance and deep french kissing are that important. I do think romance and deep french kissing are so important to bedroom frolic and fun. I have many gentlemen that think "making out" is just as important as "head".  Of course with Wild Anita you do get the wonders of both the making out and a great head game.

Many in their 50's and up are also happy with a willing and active woman in the bedroom that doesn't have to be a spinner. I get a lot of comments from my regulars that the spinners are all about themselves, just as many of the millenials are all about themselves. You notice I am reluctant to generalize on the millenials because I would like to think my sons, ages 21 (soon to be senior in College) and 25 (E-5 Sargeant Army) are not lazy, both work extremely hard and took after their parents in work eithic. It's because, yes, I was a good disciplinarian to both and both worked at either volunteering or a job from the time they were age 12 and up. They never took anything they earned for granted and they always had a good heart to those that didn't have alot.

We spent many of summers doing habitat for humanity type of work (It was through the Catholic Church so they call it Cathoiic Heart Work Camps) for those that really wanted their homes perfected/improved and couldn't afford to pay for renovations themselves. At the end of the progects, we had a cookout where all of the residents could come out and say what the work we did meant to them. There was not a dry eye anywhere. On one of the projects, my then 18 year old son (he is the one in the Army now, age 25) helped build wheelchair ramps on both front and rear of houses. Several of the elderly residents came in their wheelchairs and were crying as they told their stories of being afraid to go out of their houses for fear of falling and these young people made their lives that much more open. They could now go down their ramps and could sit and enjoy their yards on nice sunny days. 

Regarding what makes a good gentlemen, well there are many characteristics that I think fit being a good gentlemen. I guess not every man would have these and they aren't all inclusive but I will give you my thoughts:

1. A gentlemen should put effort into their appearance. Keep yourself clean, showered, and well groomed. In short order, don't smell (sorry guys, there is no other delicate way to say it). Think about your personal style and what you wear. I don't hold anything against the "blue jean" men as sometimes that is their personal style. I am thinking of someone like Brett Fayre, another fit and very handsome man that looks "hot" in blue jeans. Some men wear a suit and tie well and that is their style. Bringing up Brett again, he endorses for the subscription service "Dollar Shave Club". Let me go on the record and say that I do NOT mind facial hair and I think certain men wear a mustache, beard or a go-tee well. But I think every gentlemen should find a good barber and/or make sure their facial hair is properly trimmed/shaved regularly. The unkempt ones are what most women comment and complain about.

2. A gentlemen shows respect to everyone, other men, and of course women. So many of the disrespectful men are who try to get appointments with me. They think I'll just let them stop by without verifying or screening. The "Are you available?" types. Sorry, but my life is important to me and I want to live to see my grandchildren (my oldest son and his wife are trying to have a baby and just had a miscarriage. I want to see them eventually be successful in having a baby). So yes, part of showing respect is helping the provider feel comfortable in having them over for a visit. Another form of respect is holding the door open for a woman, and helping her out of a car, etc. Guess what, it is a two way street. Showing respect to her, it should come right back to you as I feel I should show respect back too. I don't take for granted my real gentlemen. I love mirroring that respect back. Another point in the respect aspect is "have respect for someone's time" not just your own. If you make an appointment with a provider, please know that their time is important and if you have to be late or have to cancel, let them know in well of enough time. I am a patient provider but don't forget that it is a business and I do lose money if I don't have at least a two hour notice prior to cancellation.

3. A gentlemen is a grown-up, he watches his language and communicates well. Yes, I am one of the few providers that does not swear or swears less often. A gentlemen should keep his language PG rated. I am very concerned with good communication as I see so many "fails" there from the younger crowd. They spend more time quick texting than talking. They don't care if they spell correctly and I am guessing many of them are challenged on the spelling end. To them, communication has to be via electronic/technology means. What's missing is good old communication in person and via telephone call. Yes, gentlemen, that is why I usually love to hear a man's voice before he comes over. Those that provide my screening form and give me a full view of themselves, well that does help and I appreciate that. But talking to them is important too and I appreciate the gentlemen that take the time. By the way, an arm of this is social media communication. Always remember that what you type out there on your LinkedIN, Twitter and Facebook is seen and read by others and it could come back to bite you in the end. I have heard many present and future employers do watch that and it could cause a present or future job to disappear in an instant once the words/statements are out there for all to see. 

4. A gentlemen is punctual. I know that there is construction that slows the traffic down but it does require you to allow more than enough time to get to your destination and to of course call or send a message if you will be running behind. So many forget to do this and it leaves me hanging as I may only have a half hour or hour between my appointments and it could effect the next client. 

5. A gentlemen connects well with other people and looks people in the eye. Yes, it is sometimg as a provider that I have had to work on is eye contact. It is so important, gentlemen need to remember the eye contact, the firm handshake (no floppy fish handshake) and the kind words given to other people to make their day. It is also the good communication that was mentioned above.

6. A gentlemen pays back others. Remember to show "the love." He remembers the good deed done to him and passes it on. It is the giving back, if someone helps you, you help them back. I do sometimes pay back the person next in line at the drivethru, I'll pay for their order at times. I love coffee but I don't ever forget the person after me may be having trouble paying the bills.

7. A gentlemen thinks before he speaks. Measure your words and know that once the words are said or even typed (such as in emails. texted or on social media), they could be misconstrued. Always understand that once the words are said, they have a hard time being retracted. Yes, gentlemen, I am thinking even your wives sometimes bring up stuff that is said in previous conversations, again and again and again. 

8. A gentlemen picks up after himself. He is tidy and cleans up after himself not only at his own home but at work and when he is visiting others. 

9. A gentlemen keeps his promises. If he makes an appointment, he keeps it and if he has to cancel, he allows enough time for the recipient to fill the appointment slot. You notice doctors offices require a 24 hour cancellation prior to appointment time. You should be as respectful to the provider's time as well. 

10. A gentlemen says "please" and "thank you". Do you notice that the military teachers their recruits this in basic training? You don't have to be veteran to use that language. You can remember to use those words in your daily speak to all you meet with and to those wait staff you meet at hotels and restaurants. 

11. A gentlemen helps a woman with her coat and uses proper table manners. Included in this: using your utensils properly, no elbows on the table and helping a woman into her seat. 

12. A gentlemen never hits a woman. Ever. Enough said. 

13. A gentleman understands and abides by any limits and understands that "no" means "no". I'm thinking about for all women, not just providers.

14. A gentlemen gives up his seat to a woman such as when there are no seats on a train or a bus. I was on a train going to and from work downtown Chicago (I lived in West Suburbs at the time) and I was visibly 8 or 9 months pregnant when I would be on a full train almost standing room only. No one offered me their seat. Yes, there were a lot of men in suits and ties.  

15. A gentlemen gives compliments, sincerely and often. Always remember that those on the receiving end in the service industry really appreciate it and it makes our day. 

16. One of the biggies, a gentlemen LISTENS. It is important for women to be listened to and to feel heard. Always show that you care to hear the answers when you ask the questions. 

Hugs and voraciously hungry kisses from your wild tigress, 

Anita